Parenting

1. Identify your goals. First, identify what you want to achieve. I like to number each one of my goals; others use bullet points, etc.; it’s all acceptable. Next, use the numbered goals in my case to measure success. I found out that when I put a check next to the goal I have achieved, it boosts my morale, and I have an urge to tackle the next one. These goals can be as major as moving to another country or going to medical school or as minor as Saturday plans with loved ones or my favorite spring cleanings. 2. Make a list of your goals. I like to number each one of my goals; others use bullet points, etc.; it’s all acceptable. Next, use the numbered goals in my case to measure success. I found out that when I put a check next to the goal I have achieved, it boosts my morale, and I have an urge to tackle the next one. You can have it written down in your journal, which, by the way, I highly recommend having, or you can type it on your phone, desktop, or tablet. Any place that you know will keep you accountable for achieving these goals 3. Trust yourself to achieve your goals. I want you to list what you are good at and what strategies you’ve used in the past or are currently using that work for you. Then use that strategy again. Many times I think that in order to get the success I need, I must learn something new, whether through self-help books, friends, family, or paid specialists. I realized that I count myself out of the equation, but this is to improve or achieve a goal for myself. Why am I not in the problem-solving dialogue? I now use what works for me, and I trust myself to accomplish my goals. 4. Pace yourself and plan ahead. One strategy that works for me starts after I identify my goals and write them down in my journal. I start with what I think would be easier for me to accomplish and succeed at out of 10 goals, by the time I get to the complicated ones, I am so determined to knock them down that the goal does not scare me. I break down the goals into several tasks, usually two or three tasks, and I pace myself, giving myself days to finish the tasks. It could seem daunting to break a goal into three tasks, but I figured in order for me to walk, I need two legs. To give you a simplified idea of the act of walking, I am sure there are a lot of different components that go into it. But think about it: if you break your major goal down into smaller tasks and start on just one at a time, then the task seems less difficult and more achievable. And if you are a busy individual, this strategy will fit into your already packed schedule. 5. Failure is not the end; it’s a precious opportunity. One of my favorite quotes by author Roy Bennett is “Failures are the stairs we climb to reach success.” I am sure that we all experience failures, but what’s hard is that because we are human with emotions, failures can really wreck havoc in our lives. I remembered being very depressed when I couldn’t achieve a goal, and I had been going at it for months. The self-doubts came in, and the feeling of being a disgrace to my family and a disappointment to my teachers and friends made me cry whenever I got a chance. This was the first time that I had failed in such a major way that included my loved ones. That unfortunately drove me into depression. I remembered one of my older friends reaching out to me. I wonder now if she experienced this type of failure or saw the signs in me. She reached out to me and told me that failures are opportunities. With each failure, you are closer to succeeding. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder, more like, off of me actually.  6. Don’t be afraid to dig deep. The most wonderful thing to experience about failure, if you are not overwhelmed with the emotions of failing at something, is the opportunity to dig deep about what could have been done to experience a different outcome. This used to scare me so much. I would blame others for things, and when I started blaming things outside of my control, for instance, lizards, yes, I blamed a lizard for one of my failures. For my sake, I will not tell you the story. But this is to point out how I would blame everything and anything because I did not want to dig deep and find out I was the cause of my own failures. After having the mindset that failures are opportunities, I made it my go-to now to dig deep because if it is my fault, I am digging deep to find a solution. It typically involves me figuring out that I procrastinate a lot, I prioritize the wrong things every time, or my favorite things to do are out of sight, out of mind. I was shocked at how reckless I was with my own goals. I had an urge to change, and it is a work in progress, but I am achieving a lot more than I used to. So don’t be afraid to get that shovel and dig deep. It will literally save your goals. 7. Celebrate your achievements and success. We’ve come to the end. This is my favorite part; it’s a celebration! Some people find it very hard to celebrate their accomplishments, and some are embarrassed by the thought of celebrating. I am here to tell you to accept how far you have come, recognize your achievements, and let it motivate you to achieve more. Set